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Women fighting & training - how do you feel, similarities and differences with men.


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I’d be curious to hear from the coaches in particular how they see differences in male & female athletes, and also what are the main similarities.  I ask this here rather than Sherdog or Reddit cause I’m not begging for an earful of sexism, more an open field of experience & opinion from both men & women & also non-binary people if you’re here.

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In all of my years associated with the martial arts, there have always been women involved either as instructors or students. Each and everyone of them has/had the respect of the class. I don't know what it's like in other parts of the world, but I've always found martial training, be it Karate or Muay Thai to be a pretty even playing field where you earn your respect regardless of sex. At least that's been my experience. Bare in mind, I come from Queensland and in American terms we were and still are considered rednecks. Of course there has been the occasional knob head, both male and female but they have usually left of their own accord or have been asked to leave.

As a teacher,  I have one particular female student whom three months ago wasn't very confident in herself. She's a naturally big person. Anyway she could not kick higher than halfway up her own shin height. Now, she's kicking almost to head height,  she's 6'1". She feels more confident in herself and the secret to bringing her out of shell was something I learned from Sylvie. Try not try, let things just flow.

I do think in general, women are more eager to please and seem more attentive in regards to learning.

Edited by Jeremy Stewart
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5 hours ago, Kevin von Duuglas-Ittu said:

Maybe Kaitlin will hop on, I think she is fighting today or tomorrow, but is a coach and has thought a lot about this I believe. What are your thoughts or intuitions?

Would love it if Kaitlin will hop on and will be watching her fight!  My thoughts & intuitions are kind of a constant stream, actually.  I know its a general question but I am doing a show in NYC that includes a ladies MT fight night and this will result in people asking me why I think women ought to do martial arts in general, Muay Thai in particular.  These will be people hostile to the idea of violence generally.  For myself, I usually adore the women in my gyms, because there is less coquetry and more directness.  Twice though, I've had another woman try and throw me under the bus to be the "favorite student" with the male coach - that's fun lol.  So I am just searching for thoughts and impressions.  I actually hate generalizations and think the cloud of socialization is so powerful (habitus) in developing gender roles that its difficult to find what is real and what is just driven by social needs, but all, in the end are real so I am just trying to trace patterns.  Thanks.

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2 hours ago, Jeremy Stewart said:

In all of my years associated with the martial arts, there have always been women involved either as instructors or students. Each and everyone of them has/had the respect of the class. I don't know what it's like in other parts of the world, but I've always found martial training, be it Karate or Muay Thai to be a pretty even playing field where you earn your respect regardless of sex. At least that's been my experience. Bare in mind, I come from Queensland and in American terms we were and still are considered rednecks. Of course there has been the occasional knob head, both male and female but they have usually left of their own accord or have been asked to leave.

As a teacher,  I have one particular female student whom three months ago wasn't very confident in herself. She's a naturally big person. Anyway she could not kick higher than halfway up her own shin height. Now, she's kicking almost to head height,  she's 6'1". She feels more confident in herself and the secret to bringing her out of shell was something I learned from Sylvie. Try not try, let things just flow.

I do think in general, women are more eager to please and seem more attentive in regards to learning.

Jeremy thank you.  I am interested to read that the schools are generally egalitarian in Queensland.  I am back East in the US, and grew up out West (which is probably culturally more like Queensland).  I love the story of your big woman.  OMG.  I am very tall too and its strange being a bigger woman - you are constantly challenged on your gender (as many muscley women of all sizes are; I reckon Sylvie has written about this).  Three months and a huge difference!  You must be a great coach.  

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6 hours ago, Jeremy Stewart said:

In all of my years associated with the martial arts, there have always been women involved either as instructors or students. Each and everyone of them has/had the respect of the class. I don't know what it's like in other parts of the world, but I've always found martial training, be it Karate or Muay Thai to be a pretty even playing field where you earn your respect regardless of sex. At least that's been my experience. Bare in mind, I come from Queensland and in American terms we were and still are considered rednecks. Of course there has been the occasional knob head, both male and female but they have usually left of their own accord or have been asked to leave.

As a teacher,  I have one particular female student whom three months ago wasn't very confident in herself. She's a naturally big person. Anyway she could not kick higher than halfway up her own shin height. Now, she's kicking almost to head height,  she's 6'1". She feels more confident in herself and the secret to bringing her out of shell was something I learned from Sylvie. Try not try, let things just flow.

I do think in general, women are more eager to please and seem more attentive in regards to learning.

I agree with Jeremy - in general women are more eager to please and seem more attentive to learning (this goes for the academic classroom as well). I would say this may be the case across most personalities in women, even with shy individuals who do not express themselves as loudly with their voice.

In Taiwan, I was and under-10yo children’s kickboxing and BJJ assistant coach. The girl:boy ratio was always 1:10, or something like that. Of course there are cultural differences, but in general, I still noticed the girls were very quiet and not as vocal as the boys. Yet, it was clear they wanted to learn (for example, they would try to correct their technique when I pointed something out). The main coach always had me work with the girls and the newcomers as the only female assistant coach. So, I got to see how they grew over time too. 

One girl was always down to spar bc she would willingly and literally walk up to challenge. She “became more aggressive,” or stood her ground when she was in the center of the ring to spar with everyone watching, but still no screaming or crazy sounds, like the boys. Another girl was always more hesitant, but would go up since I constantly yelled, “You can do it!” As time went on, the girls seemed to become more normalized to the procedure of getting over nerves and going on their own. I think the mad cheering helped them because they were receptive and eager to please.

The boys were objectively more talkative and “silly.” Even the “leader types” goofed off more than the girls. While they knew when to be serious and work hard, but they seemed to enjoy a flexibility of seriousness-playfulness as a child. I saw less of this behavioral breadth in the girls. This is just my general observation. There were some shy boys too, but the more extroverted personality traits were dominant amongst the males (also given the highly unbalanced gender ratio). 

At this age, there is not too much “sweetheart of the gym” present. Sometimes fitness-goal-centered gyms have this issue amongst adults. I can feel competition in the air to be “seen” by the male coaches or men in the room. But in serious gyms that train to fight, this dynamic is not as common. Women are usually THRILLED to have other women fighters step into the space and work with them. Occasionally, I would hear from female friends that this dynamic is going even in serious gyms. Even though, I am one to be sensitive to gender dynamics, I was surprised because I was unaware. So despite the gym space itself, perhaps the experience for women will still vary per individual. I can on, but I’ll stop here for now haha.

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33 minutes ago, Josephine (Jojo) Kim said:

I agree with Jeremy - in general women are more eager to please and seem more attentive to learning (this goes for the academic classroom as well).

One girl was always down to spar bc she would willingly and literally walk up to challenge. She “became more aggressive,” or stood her ground when she was in the center of the ring to spar with everyone watching, but still no screaming or crazy sounds, like the boys. Another girl was always more hesitant, but would go up since I constantly yelled, “You can do it!” 

First, this is exactly what I am interested in - nice to know how it works beyond my little East Coast America frame.  So the Taiwan point of view is interesting and makes sense.  I love imagining you yelling "you can do it" OMG.  The best.

 

33 minutes ago, Josephine (Jojo) Kim said:

they seemed to enjoy a flexibility of seriousness-playfulness as a child. I saw less of this behavioral breadth in the girls. This is just my general observation.

Incredible and well put.

 

33 minutes ago, Josephine (Jojo) Kim said:

 

 

 

At this age, there is not too much “sweetheart of the gym” present. Sometimes fitness-goal-centered gyms have this issue amongst adults. I can feel competition in the air to be “seen” by the male coaches or men in the room. But in serious gyms that train to fight, this dynamic is not as common. Women are usually THRILLED to have other women fighters step into the space and work with them. 

Thanks that is a very helpful distinction in sorting out my own two minor but annoying experiences.  Both women were more fitness oriented people even though damn, they are adults (one is at my karate gym, the other was at Western boxing). Nobody does this at my Muay Thai gym.  NOBODY.  You are so right - no real fighters ever look the gift horse of being able to punch me in the mouth, in the mouth! Thanks again!

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Ive tended to have maybe a little more male students than female in general. The only real difference Ive seen is that as a whole the female students are harder workers, put more attention into their training than men. Personally I love my female students because of this. Recent example is a youth students who just started 2months ago and is already the equal of males in her class that have been training twice as long. Honestly shes a joy to have in my class and because of it definitely geta extra attention from me (as any student like her, male or female, would). Some of my best students and fighters have been female. 

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2 hours ago, Coach James Poidog said:

Ive tended to have maybe a little more male students than female in general. The only real difference Ive seen is that as a whole the female students are harder workers, put more attention into their training than men. Personally I love my female students because of this. Recent example is a youth students who just started 2months ago and is already the equal of males in her class that have been training twice as long. Honestly shes a joy to have in my class and because of it definitely geta extra attention from me (as any student like her, male or female, would). Some of my best students and fighters have been female. 

So great.  My coach tells me a similar thing - its just so rewarding to be listened to, and the female ego seems to be different.  That said I think it takes a strong male ego to be coachable at all, so it speaks well of you that you have many male fighters.  Thanks James.

 

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3 hours ago, Coach James Poidog said:

Recent example is a youth students who just started 2months ago and is already the equal of males in her class that have been training twice as long. Honestly shes a joy to have in my class and because of it definitely geta extra attention from me (as any student like her, male or female, would). 

Are you suggesting sometimes female students, because they work harder, might get more focused attention from coaches leading to the weirdness I mentioned above ("Daddy look at ME" type of competitiveness)?  Perhaps it is not a behavior that you notice, or maybe its as Jojo says and only the fitness types that do this.  

Edited by threeoaks
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40 minutes ago, threeoaks said:

Are you suggesting sometimes female students, because they work harder, might get more focused attention from coaches leading to the weirdness I mentioned above ("Daddy look at ME" type of competitiveness)?  Perhaps it is not a behavior that you notice, or maybe its as Jojo says and only the fitness types that do this.  

No Im not suggesting that at all. Im saying what I said, what I notice in my experience. If I were to think of it, I didnt ever notice anything like that. If anything it could just be a hyper competitiveness to be better than or equal to the men. I just know in general they worked harder. I say in general because I had male students just as dedicated but I also had male students that were lackadaisical in there training, where as almost none of the female students were like this.  

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3 minutes ago, Coach James Poidog said:

No Im not suggesting that at all. Im saying what I said, what I notice in my experience. If I were to think of it, I didnt ever notice anything like that. If anything it could just be a hyper competitiveness to be better than or equal to the men. I just know in general they worked harder. I say in general because I had male students just as dedicated but I also had male students that were lackadaisical in there training, where as almost none of the female students were like this.  

Got ya.

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45 minutes ago, threeoaks said:

Are you suggesting sometimes female students, because they work harder, might get more focused attention from coaches leading to the weirdness I mentioned above ("Daddy look at ME" type of competitiveness)?  Perhaps it is not a behavior that you notice, or maybe its as Jojo says and only the fitness types that do this.  

I think the weirdness, as far as adults goes, might come from sexuality and "sexual tension" between men and women. Thats just not something that happens with me but I have witnessed it between students when I pair them up to train. I try hard to make sure people understand that in the art we are equal. I tend to emphasize it due to how I teach the art which is less about power in general and more about technique which transcends physical power. Im not big on my students and fighters relying on power to win and more about being able to beat power with other aspects all people have. 

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2 minutes ago, Coach James Poidog said:

I think the weirdness, as far as adults goes, might come from sexuality and "sexual tension" between men and women. Thats just not something that happens with me but I have witnessed it between students when I pair them up to train. I try hard to make sure people understand that in the art we are equal. I tend to emphasize it due to how I teach the art which is less about power in general and more about technique which transcends physical power. Im not big on my students and fighters relying on power to win and more about being able to beat power with other aspects all people have. 

Yes that makes sense regarding the sexuality business.  And I love what you say about technique over power.

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2 hours ago, threeoaks said:

 And I love what you say about technique over power.

I genuinely believe it. How else can smaller people beat bigger stronger people? Its the real connector and cross over to traditional martial arts. Sport makes it about all things being even so size is a factor, you cant dismiss it...but you can deal with it. One of my fighters doesnt cut weight so hes always fighting bigger opponents. His last fight he actually cut weight and the dude he fought was still 10lbs over lol. Ended up 15 lbs heavier than my guy fight day. My guy beat him with technique and made dude quit in the third round (knees to the body after two rounds of making sure he kicked him in the body). Size is a factor not a determiner.

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45 minutes ago, Coach James Poidog said:

I genuinely believe it. How else can smaller people beat bigger stronger people? Its the real connector and cross over to traditional martial arts. Sport makes it about all things being even so size is a factor, you cant dismiss it...but you can deal with it. One of my fighters doesnt cut weight so hes always fighting bigger opponents. His last fight he actually cut weight and the dude he fought was still 10lbs over lol. Ended up 15 lbs heavier than my guy fight day. My guy beat him with technique and made dude quit in the third round (knees to the body after two rounds of making sure he kicked him in the body). Size is a factor not a determiner.

Love that story.  Body body body and good bye!

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22 hours ago, threeoaks said:

Jeremy thank you.  I am interested to read that the schools are generally egalitarian in Queensland.  I am back East in the US, and grew up out West (which is probably culturally more like Queensland).  I love the story of your big woman.  OMG.  I am very tall too and its strange being a bigger woman - you are constantly challenged on your gender (as many muscley women of all sizes are; I reckon Sylvie has written about this).  Three months and a huge difference!  You must be a great coach.  

Thank you, Three Oaks. I don't consider myself to be great,  but I do consider myself to be understanding and above all I love teaching people, especially those that don't  fit the norm. Queenslanders are generally laid back and pretty accepting unless of course you're a dickhead, then we let rip. My dream (which I'm attempting to make come to fruition), is to have a school where being the norm is not the norm, so that people (especially those that have trained before, but not limited to) have a place to come and find or rediscover their sense of self worth, especially those like myself that have life changing injuries that they may feel excludes them from training at a regular school. I still train at my original muay thai school, that's my choice and I'm willing to put my body on the line because it makes me feel alive. However, not all people have that same mind set. Thank you again for the compliment 

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34 minutes ago, Jeremy Stewart said:

My dream (which I'm attempting to make come to fruition), is to have a school where being the norm is not the norm, so that people (especially those that have trained before, but not limited to) have a place to come and find or rediscover their sense of self worth, especially those like myself that have life changing injuries that they may feel excludes them from training at a regular school. 

May your dream come to fruition 🙏🏽.  I have a friend and coach who has broken his neck (pro rugby) such that if he takes a blow to the head he’s looking at paralysis.  He mainly does BJJ now (which actually seems more injury prone AND injury friendly, oddly).  I can’t imagine there aren’t risks but you do what you love.  Glad you survived your injury.

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45 minutes ago, threeoaks said:

May your dream come to fruition 🙏🏽.  I have a friend and coach who has broken his neck (pro rugby) such that if he takes a blow to the head he’s looking at paralysis.  He mainly does BJJ now (which actually seems more injury prone AND injury friendly, oddly).  I can’t imagine there aren’t risks but you do what you love.  Glad you survived your injury.

Thank you. It's important not just for me but for others as well. I, like your friend, face the dread of paralysis in whatever I do. My injury was to my back. Just the feeling of being able to do something is so mentally important,  I can't really describe how important. Everyone tends to focus on only the physical part. You get used to pain, you get used to discomfort, but it was my experience that the mental part is the hardest part. It took 18 months to learn how to walk properly again, then comes the frustration of not being able to do the things you used to do, this leads to depressive states of mind.  It's hard to relate the emotional cycles. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, With perseverance and one bit of good advice you can still train. I may not be as proficient as I once was, but I have knowledge and wish to impart that knowledge as I am a firm believer, martial crafts are beneficial first of all physically and as a by product mentally.

Edited by Jeremy Stewart
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  • Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu changed the title to Women fighting & training - how do you feel, similarities and differences with men.

I'm not actually sure what you're asking, so I'm just throwing in observations and maybe they're meaningful for what you're pondering and maybe not.

In my personal experience, I've always been either the only woman at the gym, or one of very few women at the gym. The ratio of men to women creates a completely lopsided social arrangement, wherein what role or quality women offer to the gym is heavily obscured by that inequality. In a gym where there are 10-20 men, the competitiveness they have with each other is an entirely different thing than if there were 2 of them, which is the thing women face. I find myself immediately excited by the presence of another women; annoyed and simultaneously happy to almost always be ordered to work with her (annoyed because it's simply our shared gender, happy because we have a shared gender); and disgusted with myself for having an automatic sense of competitiveness. Not competitiveness in the sporting sense, like how men might get to enjoy having a spar to see who's slicker, but competitiveness in the "there are limited social resources here and I now have to protect my hard-earned position" kind of competitiveness. Which is shit. Which is why you get women throwing each other under the bus to be teacher's-pet, or creating cliques when there are only 3 of us, or not being supportive despite there only being fucking 2 of us. And yet, there's a simultaneous support. It's like "frenemy" once someone is there for longer than a few days. It's supportive, the excitement and mutual aid is real, but so is the feeling of a threat.

But I've never come across a feeling that men and women at the gym have markedly different motivations. The feelings of power, personal security, potency, achievement, attractiveness that come from fitness and sport activities feel good to both men and women alike. There's a difference in who feels entitled to those feelings early on, but it kind of evens out over time, I think. Like, men feel badass and claim that feeling way before they actually are, and women claim it way after they've already been labeled that way by others - generally speaking. So, why men and women "should" do martial arts is pretty similar down the gender line: because they like it and it feels good. How they handle when it doesn't feel good seems more divided. Men seem to disappear from the gym when it's difficult or their ego is hurt; women tend to just heap pressure on themselves and put themselves in corners - albeit still working - until someone tells them they're worthy of attention again. At least in Thai gyms, in both these examples the correct thing to do is apologize if there was an infraction, otherwise always just carry on as if nothing at all has ever happened, ever.

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On 6/6/2019 at 6:29 AM, Coach James Poidog said:

Size is a factor not a determiner.

One of the things that makes Muay Thai beautiful, and perhaps especially made for women. Thais are small, and in the conception of the art is the thought that it is made for the defeat of larger people. Which is kind of how it made me laugh when someone like Kenshin does breakdowns of Muay Thai fighters beating absolutel6 huge opponents, but then imagine that there are fundamental physical inequalities that categorically bar them from being able to handle Male opponents. Yeah, 70 pound differences can be overcome...but "bone density"...hmmm

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One of the most stylistically appealing fighters that I have had the pleasure of training with and observing is a young woman about Sylvie's size. When you watch her and then compare her grace and ease to your own efforts, it's like comparing a butterfly to an elephant having a mud bath.😂😂😂😂

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5 hours ago, Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu said:

I'm not actually sure what you're asking, so I'm just throwing in observations and maybe they're meaningful for what you're pondering and maybe not.

In my personal experience, I've always been either the only woman at the gym, or one of very few women at the gym. The ratio of men to women creates a completely lopsided social arrangement, wherein what role or quality women offer to the gym is heavily obscured by that inequality. In a gym where there are 10-20 men, the competitiveness they have with each other is an entirely different thing than if there were 2 of them, which is the thing women face. I find myself immediately excited by the presence of another women; annoyed and simultaneously happy to almost always be ordered to work with her (annoyed because it's simply our shared gender, happy because we have a shared gender); and disgusted with myself for having an automatic sense of competitiveness. Not competitiveness in the sporting sense, like how men might get to enjoy having a spar to see who's slicker, but competitiveness in the "there are limited social resources here and I now have to protect my hard-earned position" kind of competitiveness. Which is shit. Which is why you get women throwing each other under the bus to be teacher's-pet, or creating cliques when there are only 3 of us, or not being supportive despite there only being fucking 2 of us. And yet, there's a simultaneous support. It's like "frenemy" once someone is there for longer than a few days. It's supportive, the excitement and mutual aid is real, but so is the feeling of a threat.

But I've never come across a feeling that men and women at the gym have markedly different motivations. The feelings of power, personal security, potency, achievement, attractiveness that come from fitness and sport activities feel good to both men and women alike. There's a difference in who feels entitled to those feelings early on, but it kind of evens out over time, I think. Like, men feel badass and claim that feeling way before they actually are, and women claim it way after they've already been labeled that way by others - generally speaking. So, why men and women "should" do martial arts is pretty similar down the gender line: because they like it and it feels good. How they handle when it doesn't feel good seems more divided. Men seem to disappear from the gym when it's difficult or their ego is hurt; women tend to just heap pressure on themselves and put themselves in corners - albeit still working - until someone tells them they're worthy of attention again. At least in Thai gyms, in both these examples the correct thing to do is apologize if there was an infraction, otherwise always just carry on as if nothing at all has ever happened, ever.

Sylvie thanks.  I know you have so much writing in the subject and this is a very general question.  One of the reasons I follow you and your fight career is your hyper-consciousness of yourself as a Western female in the Thai context.  You are a voyager not only across cultural lines, but also really across gender lines and i just love how you open up the path for those following you, and credit those before you.  So I feel silly asking you the general question but I appreciate your thoughts.  Your  comparison evokes what I believe - there is a sameness (in motivation), inflected by profound social difference (numbers of fighters and response to ego challenges).  Very succinct and confirms what I observe in a broader general sense.  Having had kids now, everyone expects me to finally sign on the biological gender differences and fine yeah, there are differences.  But I hate biological arguments  - they often break down (compare the level of testosterone in any elite female athlete's body with an ordinary woman's levels and you have what, a more male person?  I don't accept this silly line of reasoning where a single hormone defines a gender).  Attitude and durability (where the women, in your observation, continue working whereas the males often disappear under durress) are all.  So I always appreciate, deeply, your conscious voyage.  ❤️ to you for it, all day long.

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On 6/6/2019 at 7:18 AM, Jeremy Stewart said:

Thank you. It's important not just for me but for others as well. I, like your friend, face the dread of paralysis in whatever I do. My injury was to my back. Just the feeling of being able to do something is so mentally important,  I can't really describe how important. Everyone tends to focus on only the physical part. You get used to pain, you get used to discomfort, but it was my experience that the mental part is the hardest part. It took 18 months to learn how to walk properly again, then comes the frustration of not being able to do the things you used to do, this leads to depressive states of mind.  It's hard to relate the emotional cycles. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, With perseverance and one bit of good advice you can still train. I may not be as proficient as I once was, but I have knowledge and wish to impart that knowledge as I am a firm believer, martial crafts are beneficial first of all physically and as a by product mentally.

Jeremy.  The dread of paralysis, yet you train.  Absolutely inspirational, as is training when you know you are not the same athlete as before.  I experience this daily as a person who is no longer young, but was once an absolute grinder, more than anyone around me.  Much less difficult (aging is after all a privilege since the alternative is death).  But my competitiveness blurgh.. it requires constant simmering down.  Thanks for your example.

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Very tough to know. Don't really like thinking too much when going to training or reading books etc. Only time seeing it from the other side is in yoga class, only time enough to do once a week and not because it's fun. Highly unpleasant but find it necessary. Have bad flexibility and bad overall body strength, and never found any kind of weight training helps. This does. 

People might not like biological arguments but in that room there's no escaping it, the advantage everybody else has in terms of natural hip and leg flexibility.... I mean it's clear as day. If you're a dude, it's basically you and an old guy recovering from an operation, and that's it. First day is like, damn... gonna be humiliating...gonna be treated like we shouldn't be here....look all clunky and rigid. So we just hide in the back and try keep up. 

The truth? Absolutely nobody cares, or even notices us. Over time, just realised it's better not to think about it. You get treated well, given the easier guy-friendly variations of the asanas by the teacher, and have no complaints, and soon forget you're the only 2 guys there. Unless we're told to feel the universe and breath into our bra straps.

Totally different from the Thai gyms back home when starting out. Not only did the overall membership have more girls but half the fight team were girls. And the 2 most experienced girls used to chat about the gym going downhill, saying "Because now the gym has too many girls". For real, that's a quote.

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    • One of the most confused aspects of Western genuine interest in Thailand's Muay Thai is the invisibility of its social structure, upon which some of our fondest perceptions and values of it as a "traditional" and respect-driven art are founded. Because it takes passing out of tourist mode to see these things they remain opaque. (One can be in a tourist mode for a very long time in Thailand, enjoying the qualities of is culture as they are directed toward Westerners as part of its economy - an aspect of its centuries old culture of exchange and affinity for international trade and its peoples.). If one does not enter into substantive, stakeholder relations which usually involve fluently learning to speak the language (I have not, but my wife has), these things will remain hidden even to those that know Thailand well. It has been called, perhaps incorrectly, a "latent caste system". Thailand's is a patronage culture that is quiet strongly hierarchical - often in ways that are unseen to the foreigner in Muay Thai gyms - that carries with it vestigial forms of feudal-like relationships (the Sakdina system) that once involved very widespread slavery, indentured worker ethnicities, classes and networks of debt (both financial and social), much of those power relations now expressed in obligations. Westerners just do not - usually - see this web of shifting high vs low struggles, as we move within the commercial outward-facing layer that floats above it. In terms of Muay Thai, between these two layers - the inward-facing, rich, traditional patronage (though ethically problematic) historical layer AND the capitalist, commerce and exchange-driven, outward-facing layer - have developed fighter contract laws. It's safe to say that before these contract laws, I believe codified in the 1999 Boxing Act due to abuses, these legal powers would have been enforced by custom, its ethical norms and local political powers. There was social law before there was contract law. Aside from these larger societal hierarchies, there is also a history of Muay Thai fighters growing up in kaimuay camps that operate almost as orphanages (without the death of parents), or houses of care for youth into which young fighters are given over, very much like informal adoption. This can be seen in the light of both vestigial Thai social caste & its financial indenture (this is a good lecture on the history of cultures of indentured servitude, family as value & debt ), and the Thai custom of young boys entering a temple to become novice monks, granting spiritual merit to their parents. These camps can be understood as parallel families, with the heads of them seen as a father-like. Young fighters would be raised together, disciplined, given values (ideally, values reflected in Muay Thai itself), such that the larger hierarchies that organize the country are expressed more personally, in forms of obligation and debt placed upon both the raised fighter and also, importantly, the authorities in the gym. One has to be a good parent, a good benefactor, as well as a good son. Thai fighter contract law is meant to at bare bones reflect these deeper social obligations. It's enough to say that these are the social norms that govern Thailand's Muay Thai gyms, as they exist for Thais. And, these norms are difficult to map onto Western sensibilities as we might run into them. We come to Thailand...and to Thailand's gyms almost at the acme of Western freedom. Many come with the liberty of relative wealth, sometimes long term vacationers even with great wealth, entering a (semi) "traditional" culture with extraordinary autonomy. We often have choices outside of those found even in one's native country. Famously, older men find young, hot "pseudo-relationship" girlfriends well beyond their reach. Adults explore projects of masculinity, or self-development not available back home. For many the constrictures of the mores of their own cultures no longer seem to apply. When we go to this Thai gym or that, we are doing so out of an extreme sense of choice. We are variously versions of the "customer". We've learned by rote, "The customer is always right". When people come to Thailand to become a fighter, or an "authentic fighter", the longer they stay and the further they pass toward that (supposed) authenticity, they are entering into an invisible landscape of social attachments, submissions & debts. If you "really want to be 'treated like a Thai', this is a world of acute and quite rigid social hierarchies, one in which the freedom & liberties that may have motivated you are quite alien. What complicates this matter, is that this rigidity is the source of the traditional values which draws so many from around to the world to Thailand in the first place. If you were really "treated like a Thai", perhaps especially as a woman, you would probably find yourself quite disempowered, lacking in choice, and subject only to a hoped-for beneficence from those few you are obligated to and define your horizon of choice. Below is an excerpt from Lynne Miller's Fighting for Success, a book telling of her travails and lessons in owning the Sor. Sumalee Gym as a foreign woman. This passage is the most revealing story I've found about the consequences of these obligations, and their legal form, for the Thai fighter. The anecdote of the disorienting photo op meet is exemplar. While extreme in this case, the general form of obligations of what is going on here is omnipresent in Thai gyms...for Thais. It isn't just the contractual bounds, its the hierarchy, obligation, social debt, and family-like authorities upon which the contract law is founded. The story that she tells is of her own frustrations to resolve this matter in a way that seems quite equitable, fair to our sensibilities. Our Western idea of labor and its value. But, what is also occurring here is that, aside from claimed previous failures of care, there was a deep, face-losing breech of obligation when the fighter fled just before a big fight, and that there was no real reasonable financial "repair" for this loss of face. This is because beneath the commerce of fighting is still a very strong hierarchical social form, within which one's aura of authority is always being contested. This is social capital, as Bourdieu would say. It's a different economy. Thailand's Muay Thai is a form of social agonism, more than it is even an agonism of the ring. When you understand this, one might come to realize just how much of an anathema it is for middle class or lower-middle class Westerners to come from liberties and ideals of self-empowerment to Thailand to become "just like a Thai fighter". In some ways this would be like dreaming to become a janitor in a business. In some ways it is very much NOT like this as it can be imbued with traditional values...but in terms of social power and the ladder of authorities and how the work of training and fighting is construed, it is like this. This is something that is quite misunderstood. Even when Westerners, increasingly, become padmen in Thai gyms, imagining that they have achieved some kind of authenticity promotion of "coach", it is much more comparable to becoming a low-value (often free) worker, someone who pumps out rounds, not far from someone who sweeps the gym or works horse stables leading horse to pasture...in terms of social worth. When you come to a relatively "Thai" style gym as an adult novice aiming to perhaps become a fighter, you are doing this as a customer attempting to map onto a 10 year old Thai boy beginner who may very well become contractually owned by the gym, and socially obligated to its owner for life. These are very different, almost antithetical worlds. This is the fundamental tension between the beauties of Thai traditional Muay Thai culture, which carry very meaningful values, and its largely invisible, sometimes cruel and uncaring, social constriction. If you don't see the "ladder", and you only see "people", you aren't really seeing Thailand.        
    • He told me he was teaching at a gym in Chong Chom, Surin - which is right next to the Cambodian border.  Or has he decided to make use of the border crossing?  🤔
    • Here is a 6 minute audio wherein a I phrase the argument speaking in terms of Thailand's Muay Femeu and Spinoza's Ethics.    
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    • Hi, this might be out of the normal topic, but I thought you all might be interested in a book-- Children of the Neon Bamboo-- that has a really cool Martial Arts instructor character who set up an early Muy Thai gym south of Miami in the 1980s. He's a really cool character who drives the plot, and there historically accurate allusions to 1980s martial arts culture. However, the main thrust is more about nostalgia and friendships.    Can we do links? Childrenoftheneonbamboo.com Children of the Neon Bamboo: B. Glynn Kimmey: 9798988054115: Amazon.com: Movies & TV      
    • Davince Resolve is a great place to start. 
    • I see that this thread is from three years ago, and I hope your journey with Muay Thai and mental health has evolved positively during this time. It's fascinating to revisit these discussions and reflect on how our understanding of such topics can grow. The connection between training and mental health is intricate, as you've pointed out. Finding the right balance between pushing yourself and self-care is a continuous learning process. If you've been exploring various avenues for managing mood-related issues over these years, you might want to revisit the topic of mental health resources. One such resource is The UK Medical Cannabis Card, which can provide insights into alternative treatments.
    • Phetjeeja fought Anissa Meksen for a ONE FC interim atomweight kickboxing title 12/22/2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu92S6-V5y0&ab_channel=ONEChampionship Fight starts at 45:08 Phetjeeja won on points. Not being able to clinch really handicapped her. I was afraid the ref was going to start deducting points for clinch fouls.   
    • Earlier this year I wrote a couple of sociology essays that dealt directly with Muay Thai, drawing on Sylvie's journalism and discussions on the podcast to do so. I thought I'd put them up here in case they were of any interest, rather than locking them away with the intention to perfectly rewrite them 'some day'. There's not really many novel insights of my own, rather it's more just pulling together existing literature with some of the von Duuglus-Ittu's work, which I think is criminally underutilised in academic discussions of MT. The first, 'Some meanings of muay' was written for an ideology/sosciology of knowledge paper, and is an overly long, somewhat grindy attempt to give a combined historical, institutional, and situated study of major cultural meanings of Muay Thai as a form of strength. The second paper, 'the fighter's heart' was written for a qualitative analysis course, and makes extensive use of interviews and podcast discussions to talk about some ways in which the gendered/sexed body is described/deployed within Muay Thai. There's plenty of issues with both, and they're not what I'd write today, and I'm learning to realise that's fine! some meanings of muay.docx The fighter's heart.docx
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