Getting Emotional in Training/Fighting

[maybethestars]

Today I was having a private training session and something interesting happened. It's happened once or twice before but this is the first time I've really thought about it. During the last round of pad work today I was exhausted and my power and technique was dropping and flying out the window. My trainer kept yelling at me to go harder, and as I was pushing myself there was a point where I had a burst of emotion. It was a combination of frustration at myself for not being able to strike harder, anger at myself and also anger where my body was going "I'M KICKING HARD WHY IS THIS NOT HARD ENOUGH". I also felt myself get angry at my trainer at points in the last round where I think I was just transferring my frustrations. By that point for no reason I also thought I might start crying or something.

Its odd because I started off the session feeling quite good and I finished it feeling relatively calm as well, it was just that point where I had this huge burst of emotion. I know being calm and controlled is important but this just came out of nowhere. I almost started punching the heavy bags afterwards just to vent but it disappeared really rapidly. Have any of you guys had something similar happen in training or fighting?

[Micc]

I actually had a similar experience yesterday at my "new" gym, where the trainer pushes you hard, encourages in a loud voice, points out your mistakes over and over again - and this is not what I'm used to. So at some point I got sooo frustrated because I thought I do everything too weak, too slow, wrong...and got a bit pissed...

I think it's the reaction of being pushed to the edge of your comfort zone, combined with the feeling of wanting to correct your technique and do the best you can and be praised for it ;)

I need to analize it more, but I'd also love to hear about others' experience...

[Michelle Nicole]

Happens every time I go to a class. Muay thai for me is an emotional experience altogether. Taking everything that's happened over the years and learning to cope instead of pushing down into the memory box, hoping it doesn't re surface again.

 

I'm a very emotional person to begin with but I hide it with anger and outbursts. Idk about everyone else specifically. But I imagine everyone at least once has had a similar experience.

[Giulia Caruso]

I was thinking of opening a topic about crying, these days. The hive brain of this forum is starting to work!

I also have very loud screamy type of trainers (they're italian, you can imagine the level of vocal aggression there) and I usually can cope with that. But I've noticed that if I get scared for some reason my brain short-circuits and I feel this surge of emotion and on the verge of crying, barely able to contain it - like teary eyed and hiding it in the sweat basically...

[Michelle Nicole]

Oh man Ms Bruise, I swear to God, that's exactly almost what happens with me, only it's usually directly related to someone punching at me, whether they hit me or not.

[Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu]

My trainers do not yell but the quiet judgement and disappointment sure works. And I don't always have a trainer involved in my fits of crying (or nearly crying), either. Just a few days ago I was clinching with a kid who I was basically tossing around, totally controlling him, and a couple men in the ring started kind of teasing him and that made me get all emotional and had to go cry in the bathroom for a quick minute.

For me it's got almost nothing to do with the actual triggers in training, I'm just totally already primed to cry and anything, anything can set me off.  But I've had this for a long time now and have blogged about it many times. For me it's a matter of controlling the message I'm sending to my gym when I get like this. I try to still show that I want to be doing what we're doing, even if I'm struggling. It's a male environment and seeing a woman crying usually means something is "wrong."  Luckily, my gym now raises young boys up to be champions, so my trainer Pi Nu has seen literally hundreds of boys crying for years already. If we all respond in the "Thai" way and ignore it, it's all good.

[maybethestars]

I'm glad to hear that this is more common than I thought. For me so far its just been when I'm getting pushed I feel like bursting into a fit of crying, but it really seems like that for some reason crying is a pretty automatic reaction of the brain to....a ton of things.

I've also noticed that it's been mostly women who have replied to this so far. I'm curious if something similar happens to men or whether they react completely differently to these stresses...at least young boys do it seems!

[Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu]

I think men react differently, maybe more with aggression than with crying. Although I re-read your initial post and realized you talked about anger more than I'd realized. I get pissed off - well, not really, but a surge of aggression and wanting to go after someone - in padwork and sometimes sparring but never in fights. I kind of wish I would get it in fights because it might be helpful, but it's just never happened for me.

My trainer tells me about all these male fighters who used to cry all the time. Very famous fighters now. He kind of laughs about it, but I also know he's telling me so that I know it's normal. But basically these superstar fighters, when they were kids up until about 14-15 years old were still crying all the time. His son, who is now 14, doesn't cry anymore but my trainer told me that once or twice he took his son out back and whipped him on the butt for getting angry in training; I think it was during sparring with other kids and he got too emotionally aggressive, tried to hurt the other kid, and that was unacceptable so he got punished. You know Thailand, so I don't have to tell you about the inappropriateness of showing emotion in any extreme, but for those who are less familiar - and when I first heard this story from him - it's surprising that the outward demonstration of aggression when it's expressing an emotion is totally out of line, whereas aggression that's calm and devoid of emotion seems okay. That's fighting, but it's controlled.

So, at my gym: tears = totally okay if you ignore it like it's not linked to an emotion. Aggression/anger = only okay if you also don't link it with an outward emotion.

[515]

 

I think men react differently, maybe more with aggression than with crying.

 

I can only answer for myself but yeah, it will not make me cry but makes me more upset and angry at my own. "WHY I'M I NOT DOING BETTER??"

 

 

I re-read your initial post and realized you talked about anger more than I'd realized. I get pissed off - well, not really, but a surge of aggression and wanting to go after someone - in padwork and sometimes sparring but never in fights. I kind of wish I would get it in fights because it might be helpful, but it's just never happened for me.

 

I know that feeling.. A bit more "aggression" in fights would be nice, instead of being to friendly.  :rolleyes: 
The only thing that is good about it is that I can hear my corner because I keep calm, but I think I'm to calm. Not really nervous or a bit aggression or so.

[Tyler Byers]

It happens to all of us. I typically get angry/aggressive, but I am angry with myself. I usually ripping into the heavy bag for the next round, which just wears me out and I don't have the energy to be angry anymore lol. It is the trainers job to push you outside your comfort zone, those this can easily be a fine line between ok behavior and abusive behavior. So just be aware of that in case you see it.

[NewThai]

In cases like that I sometimes get frustrated at myself for not performing to my ability, even if rationally I can understand why I'm "off" that day. I'm not a crier by nature, usually I get broody and more aggressive.