Muay Thai Bones #8 -Introverts, Goggins, Long Clinch, Fight City

[dtrick924]

I'm only an hour and 20 minutes into the Muay Thai Bones #8 podcast but I already had thoughts to share. I plan to come back and add more reflections as I watch. Feel free to share your own thoughts. 

1. Square-1-ism - Goggins, Shame & Discomfort  (4:18-44:51)

I struggle with intermittent bouts of depression. I'm climbing out of a valley right now. One of my symptoms is that everything feels difficult and overwhelming. The hardest part of my day is just getting out of bed. I feel a lot of shame about my depression. Like Sylvie's metaphor of the Iron Maiden/inner critic, I turn that shame inward and berate myself. I wonder why simple things are so difficult, why am I still struggling, why aren't I better that this, I don't have any reason to be depressed etc.

The image of Goggins struggling to put on his shoes before running everyday really struck a chord with me. I decided to use that imagery when getting out of bed this morning. For me, getting out of bed is hard, so my goal when I woke up this morning was to acknowledge without judgement that it is hard, not wish that it was easier, and then get out of bed. Like everything it's a work in progress.

Video on Western Philosophy of Mind and the Inner Critic. Why Do I Hate My Self? | Philosophy Tube

I practice mindfulness meditation and one of the themes is grasping and aversion. During the my meditation, I focus on my breath but my mind inevitably wanders. My goal is to simply acknowledge that my mind has wandered and return to the breath. I don't want to follow my thoughts (grasping) or get frustrated that my mind wandered (aversion). I've been inspired to combine that with Goggins' square-1-ism. When I wake up in the morning and getting out of bed is hard, just let it be hard. Don't try to try to push away the feeling of difficulty but also don't grasp onto the difficulty and wallow in it. Sit with the discomfort, without judgement, and then embrace the task of getting out of bed.

As part of my treatment for depression I am tracking my moods. It's amazing how quickly and often my mood fluctuates throughout the day. It reminded me of this post from Sylvie: Hills and Valleys – How 10 Minutes Can Make or Break Your Training Day

[Kevin von Duuglas-Ittu]

The podcast #8

[Kevin von Duuglas-Ittu]

That is incredibly beautiful Kristen. I just read the whole post aloud to Sylvie. There is nothing more that a podcast could mean. You are right on it.

[dtrick924]

Finished watching the podcast last night. Seeing Kevin and Sylvie laughing together brings me so much joy. I can't wait to hear Kevin's next wild idea. As a patron, I love seeing how my support can make those ideas a reality. 

Sylvie, thank you for agreeing to share your insights about your Wai Kru/Ram Muay. I had always wondered what you were doing in your opponents corner and how many times you circled the ring after sealing it.

I'm really excited about Fight City. The way you lift other women up, especially Thai women, has always been one of my favourite things about following your journey.

#FightCity #1296

Edited August 6, 2019 by dtrick924

[SHELL28]

Relate to this post re getting out of bed so much. 

Yep, Feeling it ...  

Bit by bit and acknowledging the hard has helped me too. 

Enjoy these podcast very much  

[Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu]

On 8/6/2019 at 8:15 PM, dtrick924 said:

Finished watching the podcast last night. Seeing Kevin and Sylvie laughing together brings me so much joy. I can't wait to hear Kevin's next wild idea. As a patron, I love seeing how my support can make those ideas a reality. 

Sylvie, thank you for agreeing to share your insights about your Wai Kru/Ram Muay. I had always wondered what you were doing in your opponents corner and how many times you circled the ring after sealing it.

I'm really excited about Fight City. The way you lift other women up, especially Thai women, has always been one of my favourite things about following your journey.

#FightCity #1296

Kevin and I think of you often and you come up in conversation. I didn't realize you had this struggle, but knowing now makes me feel more connected - and in the most positive way possible, more responsible for the decisions I make. I'm glad to know you, even from afar, even in such a sliver.