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Thank you very much for your advice and it's also comforting having my emotions validated. With the language barrier and me still navigating the culture, I've opted for an acceptance approach. Like I don't understand it, but I'll accept it. It's tough this shit but would it be easy everybody would be doing it. I think you're right about talking to the trainer, hopefully I can create a bond with him so I understand this better.

This is a situation that I think anyone who tries to really comment on is being disingenuous because they weren't there. My gut reaction is 'that's not acceptable from a teacher' but I wasn't there, I didn't see the situation and I'm sure your own memory of it will probably be slightly different from what happened. The only real advice I can give is to think whether or not you agree with the other coach who said 'he gets like this' and decide whether or not you feel comfortable working with that particular coach. I'm sure even though you're emotional about it right now, that you won't care in a few months. I don't know the culture of Myanmar or Lethwei very well, but I'd suggest talking to the coach and finding it out if you and him are cool - if that is something that's acceptable to do within that culture.

No it didn't. But if you read your reply to me again you can see you made a lot of assumptions based on my post - without knowing anything about me - which would put me in a position to have to explain and defend myself. I'm a big believer of talking honestly about feelings. I have a blog and Instagram where I write about my vulnerabilities because it helps me grow to face them. And I have many readers thanking me for sharing weaknesses. This is also why I'm such a big fan of Sylvie, she is very very brave in her documentation of her journey. By exposing herself she helped me tremendously. Occasionally, there are people using this to put you down. It's ok, I get it, not everybody understands. But I don't enter into discussions when the intent to help does not appear to be there. Emotions are present in any gym. I've seen so many Thai fighters get angry and tired and upset and I see how the Arjans manage it. Sometimes they just let the boys punch it out on each other, other times they mock them. Martial arts is very much an emotional journey. And I have close relationships with many of my former trainers because of allowing an emotional bond. ...and with my current trainer, we're very close and we get angry at each other all the time. Bickering, laughing, mocking each others or shouting at each other. I'm very grateful for this relationship. In no way am I ashamed of having one deeply emotional reaction to this particular sparring situation. Of course it feels embarrassing. But I'm interested in exploring my reaction as it will help me, not only for my next fight but also in life in general.

Chances of training with him are pretty limited, generally. But he'll be at Sylvie's gym Petchrungruang from probably July 2019 til January 2020. I urge pretty much anyone who has a passion for him to make the trip out to Pattaya. It's very rare.

I think of the fights I've been able to find of the golden age guys, he might be my favourite. I love Sagat too.

I reckon he's the best. I watch him and I get the shivers.

Man I love Dieselnoi. There's something about the very awkward way he switch kicks that gives me a smile. I hope I get to train with him, and hopefully not get knee'd one day!