Being matched up with a friend for a fight

[TZ22]

I am wondering if anyone here had experience getting matched up with a friend for a fight, it feels very weird to me to be fighting a friend, so I am wondering what your thoughts are on that, would you do it or would you rather drop out of a fight than to fight a friend?

[NewThai]

You both signed up to compete in a sport. Would you forfeit a basketball game against them? Yes there are a lot of mental components involved in fighting that aren't a part of other sports (in basketball you score by shooting baskets, in muay thai you score by landing strikes that hurt your opponent), but at its core it is a sport and this is a match. I think you need to focus on that and accept that you each have the potential to be hurt in any fight, and you both sign up for them anyway - so you are both okay with the risk of being injured. Muay thai is violent, but it is something you both consent to when you lace up those gloves. I always say we can't be friends if we can't punch each other in the face.

 

I have fought a friend on two separate occasions now and probably will again seeing it's sort of a small world. I say embrace this opportunity to fight and train hard! You can buy your buddy a beer afterward. :)

[TZ22]

Lol, true :)

[515]

Yes I also experienced it once, actually last minute they changed the matchmaking so everyone that was at the event could fight, so that's great.
Than I was matched to a friend (from a club I train at every Wednesday) we even sat down in the same locker room haha.

I got the advantage of experience, he got the advantage of having a trainer in his corner who knows me and my style for years already.
I still go there and we still train together.

So I would say just do it, don't overthink it all and fight respectful just like you always would do and don't be too friendly because your friend will not be too friendly for you probably. Be friends, fight and score points and be friends again.  :smile:

[Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu]

I've experienced this, thankfully, only twice. The first time it was my friend/opponent's first fight and afterwards I went into her dressing room and reminded her I'd lost my first fight, too, then we hugged and she cried in my arms for a minute. Friends are still friends. The second time was recently and it was complicated because we both thought we weren't going to fight each other. We kind of more or less felt like we'd only throw elbows if the other one did first and fought for real and with intention, but not seeking to KO or injure each other. Afterwards the bad feeling was knowing that the horrible feeling of losing was brought about by one's friend.

But the way I reasoned with it is that I train with my friends every day in the gym. When I spar with Team, I'm trying to dominate and overwhelm him; when I clinch with Geng-Gat I want him to "lose," to me. No hard feelings, same like a fight, it's just a little more intense in a fight and there's actually a winner and loser, which is the shitty part, really.

[Kaitlin Rose Young]

I've had a few fights against friends. The first time was in a tournament, and we met in the finals so we didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Neither one of us was willing to forfeit.  Because we were similarly competitive in an "I love you, but I'm still going to whoop you" kind of way, there were no hard feelings. Face kicks and all!

The second time, it was a horribly boring fight. The third time was another horribly boring fight. It was an immediate rematch with the same friend. Neither one of us was fighting as we should have. Truthfully, it was less violent than a lot of hard sparring sessions. We even had a short conversation during the bout when I accidentally got my finger stuck in her mouth. (It was an MMA fight.)

The fourth time, a friend stepped in to fight me last minute when an opponent pulled out on less than 48 hours notice. She was saving my fight, and the show really, as we were headlining. Not wanting to have a crappy fight like the previous experience, I was able to execute much better. I was still mindful to do so in a way that would be less likely to result in an injury, as she had another important bout scheduled about a month out. Had it not been against a friend, I don't think that is something I would've considered. 

I've both won and lost in this situation. I agree with Sylvie. It is very strange to simultaneously feel bad for your friend's loss and happy for your win, and even stranger is feeling so disappointed in your own loss but happy for your friend in her victory. I am still friends with all three of them.

As I've gotten older, my attitude toward opponents has shifted from a feeling of rivalry to mostly a feeling of appreciation. They are our best teachers, after all. One of the most amazing parts of fighting is the way it helps a person develop emotional control - or rather, it helps us learn not to be controlled by our emotions. 

If I can throw in my two cents, I don't think you should pull out of this fight. It probably won't be easy to control your thoughts or feelings about it, but that isn't necessarily a reason not to do it. 

[Lei]

The main thing I don't like about fighting a friend is the feeling of holding back because I don't want to hurt them. When it's someone I don't really know I tend to care less about their welfare and health.