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I think it's David Goggins who says that quitting becomes a habit. You're experiencing that, you've made pulling out or not following through "habitual," which is the same as practicing it. So it gets stronger, easier, the pathways are grooved and the more you do it the deeper the grooves get. So, you know how to train, you know how to practice, you have to PRACTICE not quitting and following through. Start with small things, like getting to training or sparring more rounds than you want to. Wear new grooves, make following through a habit.

I'm a stroke survivor that's always been into fitness. I've also had the unfortunate luck of being in a physical altercation while in my current condition. At the the time, i was able to perform optimally. Thankfully he was drunk and we weren't alone but i still had to defend myself initially. Every since then, I've been researching the most effective combination of martial arts to end fights and improve my balance. The main 2 styles i found were Muay Thai and Yiquan. I feel Muay Thai is excellent in the sense of a comprehensive striking system and Yiquan requires you to slow your movements down to fine tune the little balance issues i have. I just found Sylvie's YouTube channel and i wanna express my appreciation and genuine interest in the project she is pursuing. I hope to continue to learn and if there's anything from anyone that's helpful for a new fish, I'd very much appreciate guidance