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I used to be very aggressive on pads. But when I started sparring I just couldn't hit back. I only sparred with teachers who would not go hard but put a lot of pressure and I just frooze. Years back I was stalked and assaulted and I froze then too, begged for mercy. I realised, all that came back when I was once again in a situation where I had to enforce my physical boundaries. And the shame I felt for not protecting myself in the past all came up to the surface. Things that helped me: work with an older, patient male teacher that would give me space to hit back in my own time. And then also, get hit hard by a very aggressive girl with tonnes of experience. She headkicked me so my contact lens popped out and my ears rang but that physical sting, like real pain brought it out of me and instinctively I just hit back. My ex-husband also helped me with sparring, kicking me hard and getting me annoyed and aggressive with a person I trusted. And I broke that barrier slowly but surely. But for me it was a long emotional process of allowing myself to protect my physical space by hitting back, not just take it. Which has helped me enforce my mental barriers as well. Not sure if my advice applies to your specific situation, but I really feel you on this freezing thing and what effect it has on your confidence.