Mental toughness

[Lucy]

Can anyone recommend a book on mental toughness or self belief?

I find my confidence let’s me down and would like some help

Thanks

[dtrick924]

Have you read through Sylvie's mental training tag on 8limbs.us? This article is a good place to start Mental Training Resources for Fighters – Books, Podcasts & More

ETA: The Muay Thai Guy Podcast archives also have some episodes on mental training/toughness

[Kaitlin Rose Young]

I really enjoyed The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

 

Mental toughness is a skill and as such it is something you can practice. It doesn't always have to be training related even. Where do you feel you are letting yourself down? Do you have a specific example?

[Lucy]

My worst habit is being scared to kick high ( I’ve landed wrong and hurt my ankle quite bad ) now I have no confidence in throwing anything except the low kick, I know the problem is mainly in my head but I can’t seem to get past it

( I had bloody nose etc and that doesn’t stop me from sparring, even though I know apunch to the face hurts )

[radarjam]

My worst habit is being scared to kick high ( I’ve landed wrong and hurt my ankle quite bad ) now I have no confidence in throwing anything except the low kick, I know the problem is mainly in my head but I can’t seem to get past it

( I had bloody nose etc and that doesn’t stop me from sparring, even though I know apunch to the face hurts )

LUCY!!!  :banana: 

 

Coincidentally this week's training was my coach and I focusing on throwing "mid/high kicks" Because of how short I am, I have been focusing on low/leg kicks and it became a habit of mine to just throw that move, which can be predictable obviously. 

So my coach and I were drilling mid or high kicks non-stop. During pad-calls, I've executed those kicks perfectly fine. But when I started doing technical-sparring with him, they looked like shit lol. Mind you, we didn't wear shin-guards as we decided to get the feel of moving around without any bulk, and we were going about 50% with pressure. I think mentally speaking, I keep thinking that: "Omg, I might hurt him  :pinch: " in my mind, I know he can take it and so can I. He just kept reminding me: "Jamaica, just fucking let it go. Don't worry I'll block it.If your kicks are sloppy, expect a hard kick back LOL" So I told myself, "OK shit - let's do this" Mins later after drilling the same move over and over again, I finally was able to kick mid/high properly.

On top of this session, I've also figured out how long my freaking distance was. I realized, holy shit, I can kick that far AND I can kick that high! 

Going back to mental toughness - I think it comes overtime; definitely something you can practice. Something I've been working on myself. I know for a fact during my Muay Thai journey, there was hesitation and fear of hurting someone. What helped me overcome those fears was learning how to always go 100% during pad-work, sparring like you mean it (obviously take account of not hurting your partners) and eventually, you'll get past it. My coach is the type of guy to give me a hard time...and I really appreciate why he takes that approach on me. There were times where I nearly puked from exhaustion, where I get beat up because of how sloppy my kicks/punches were... or how I drop my hands... but I am so glad he motivates me and pushes me to my limits. He definitely plays a key-role in boosting my confidence in a special way. 

[Lucy]

OMG I can’t explain how good it is to read that!

Pad work is fine I can kick high ( for my height ) and quite hard, but not in sparring as I just get scared. It wasn’t until I read your reply that I realised I’m the same, what if I do hurt him / her? Especially as I’ve just started at this new place and we are being encouraged to spar at 100% something I’ve never heard of before.

But thinking it through, if if I want to fight I need to learn how to hit hard and how to be hit or I’m going to get a shock in a real fight lol

Everything at the new place is the total opposite of what I was taught before so it’s going to take some getting used to and I’m still a bit hung up on before ( my last trainer banned me saying ‘you want to fight, but you’ll never be good enough, so I’m not training you anymore’ ) I’ve had nearly a year out sulking and putting weight on!

[radarjam]

OMG I can’t explain how good it is to read that!

Pad work is fine I can kick high ( for my height ) and quite hard, but not in sparring as I just get scared. It wasn’t until I read your reply that I realised I’m the same, what if I do hurt him / her? Especially as I’ve just started at this new place and we are being encouraged to spar at 100% something I’ve never heard of before.

But thinking it through, if if I want to fight I need to learn how to hit hard and how to be hit or I’m going to get a shock in a real fight lol

Everything at the new place is the total opposite of what I was taught before so it’s going to take some getting used to and I’m still a bit hung up on before ( my last trainer banned me saying ‘you want to fight, but you’ll never be good enough, so I’m not training you anymore’ ) I’ve had nearly a year out sulking and putting weight on!

So sparring hard is a wake up call to say the least

 

I’m so glad your feeling more confident? I saw on fb it’s not long until you go away, I’m so jealous, you must put loads of pics up and let me know how much your having

 

Well hopefully the next time you head back to train, see if anything changes! You are right - once you step in the ring to fight, your opponent is there to hurt you. And I think that pressure or intention should reflect on your sparring and pad-holding with your partners. Its even interesting that you get to spar at 100% in your new gym. It may take some time to adjust to your new gym. If you don't feel comfortable of sparring too hard, see if you can communicate with your partner or coach for any suggestions. I wouldn't even bother sparring with that other egotistical girl (I saw your other post lol). Nothing's ever worse of getting a concussion during training before your fight. You're all there to train, work hard and learn. Not fucking busting each other's brains and give each other trauma. 

Yeah, its quite the journey! After my most recent fight when I lost through a decision, my mental game was a little over the place. In my heart, I know I want to fight again; I love Muay Thai. But there those days when I question myself: "Should I continue?.... WTF am I doing...?!" In light of all of this, I haven't stopped training yet...I am still going to Thailand to train and fight... so what is there to be afraid of when I have gone this far already. 

 

Lots of pics will be posted on IG and FB hahahaha. Aren't you heading back next year!? 

[Lucy]

Love your attitude, what is there to be afraid of? Nothing!

I’m going back in April, I can’t wait, I’m hopibg to train as much as possible ( do t think I’ll be ready to fight there ) but hopefully I’ll be ready when I get back to the uk

[Fighting Frog]

Lucy: your previous trainer refused to carry on training you 'because you won't be good enough for a fight'? WTF?! So he's saying he's no good as a trainer then? It's one thing to gently let someone down by explaining that perhaps their ambition outflies their likely ability (dear me, have I heard that more than once in my life before!) but you don't then refuse to work with the person (unless it's to say, 'Try working with this trainer instead, perhaps they'll click better with you and maybe they can advance you more than I can'). Good for you not letting that wreck you, and picking up your training again.

Then go back to that original gym and beat the **** out of that trainer...

[Lucy]

I know it’s so stupid, but apparently I wasn’t the first person he had done it to.

I took about 9 months out as I was so upset and I couldn’t see the point in training, then I decided to go to a lesson ( miles away from home where no one knew me ) and thought I’d train just to lose a bit of weight. Fell back in love with Muay Thai within the first 10 minutes, and 3 weeks in Ive been asked to join the fight team!!!

Everything I’ve ever wanted, except... I have those nagging doubts of what if I’m not good enough? What if I kick and hurt the other person? Or what if I get hurt / injured? Then suddenly I lose all confidence and my ex trainer has won, it’s a vicious circle, I just hope it gets better and I reach my full potential, even if that means being limited to interclub s and not actual fights

[Fighting Frog]

Lucy: so what if you're not good enough? You're not planning on fighting for a living, are you; the idea is to enjoy yourself! Your new trainer obviously thinks you ARE good enough, and they won't put you forward unless you're ready, and you'll be placed against someone who should be roughly your equal, so the two of you won't be hopelessly mismatched.

As for injuries; well, injuries happen all the time, no matter what sport you do (or even if you don't do any sport). I understand your worries, but you have to just let them go. The referee and your trainer should make sure things don't get out of hand. I worry sometimes that by some freaky chance I get a good punch or kick through and hurt my trainer; but that's the job. Anyway, he's pretty damn tough!

I think when I get back to training again I may worry about hurting myself, but quite honestly it's not any potential injury that bothers me (as realistically the chance of a serious injury is very remote, and anyway I ride motorbikes and horses, so I have a high-risk lifestyle), it's my work's reaction if I end up with another prolonged period of sick absence (I do a physical job and cannot do it with a limb in plaster!) But then again, we're a long time dead, so we might as well throw ourselves into Life while we can.

If you want to do this, then you can. Believe it.

[Lucy]

Thank you so much, I needed to hear that x