Losing focus after losing fights

[Deb Northcott]

I have recently had a run of losses and it has really affected me mentally. I feel really negative about my ability and performance and it is starting to show in training. I can tell my trainer is getting frustrated with my constant self criticism but I cant shake it. Any tips on how to get rid of my negative thinking and get my focus back?? 

[Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu]

I have recently had a run of losses and it has really affected me mentally. I feel really negative about my ability and performance and it is starting to show in training. I can tell my trainer is getting frustrated with my constant self criticism but I cant shake it. Any tips on how to get rid of my negative thinking and get my focus back?? 

I'm in the same boat. The difficulty with Mental Training is that it's really hard to start, because it kind of feels like you don't know how to do the things that are suggested. Or you don't know how much goddamn work it's going to be and you just want something to make a difference. That was my issue when my brother would tell me to "visualize" and I couldn't even do that, making me feel worse because I was failing at that, too. There's no "quick fix," it's the same as if someone said they got tired in their fight and it caused them to lose and the answer you give them is, "do pushups." That doesn't help.

So I was thinking this morning about what it was that really kick-started my mental training (which has definitely lapsed and that's why I'm in such a funk now; like someone who stopped running and then felt shit in the fight). I think the biggest thing, in my experience, is awareness. If you don't know what you're doing, you can't do anything about it. The way I taught myself to be more aware was a journal that I wrote in before training, midway through, and after. I'd write down how I was feeling and what I was thinking, so I could note patterns or see if what I was thinking affected the way I performed or how I felt afterward. What I learned is how negative I really was in my thoughts toward myself. Stuff I would never, ever think or say about anyone else. That was a wake-up call to me. Once I'd been writing for a while, I started trying to correct it (again, in writing) as I became aware of it. So the moment I caught the thought, I'd say, "okay, it's okay to think that but let it go," and say something that nullified that negative thought. I can't go around saying, "I'm awesome!" because I don't believe that or feel that or think that's helpful, but if I think, "I fucking suck today," I can internally add, "that's okay, I'm better on most days."

So after using the journal to become more aware, so that I could catch what I was doing and be more conscious of patterns in how I'm thinking, feeling, performing and responding to everything, THEN I started doing more of the exercises recommended in the Mental Training resources I have. The one that I think is foundational is making a two-column page. On one side you make a heading for Best Performances and the other column is Worst Performances. Then under each you remember your fights or sparring or training or whatever and write down what you were thinking and feeling before and during each of those. In the "Best Performances" you very well might have, "I don't know what I was thinking, maybe nothing? Just flowing." That's good, that's real. But you'll notice in "Worst Performances" you'll have repeat offenders, like focusing too much on your opponent or thinking too much about past failures. Once you can identify those things, then you can work on them. If you don't become aware first, if you can't identify this stuff, you can't address it.

So, that's my "step 1" advice. And I'm following it myself. I did all this in the morning after my run and before training this morning. 

[Deb Northcott]

I'm in the same boat. The difficulty with Mental Training is that it's really hard to start, because it kind of feels like you don't know how to do the things that are suggested. Or you don't know how much goddamn work it's going to be and you just want something to make a difference. That was my issue when my brother would tell me to "visualize" and I couldn't even do that, making me feel worse because I was failing at that, too. There's no "quick fix," it's the same as if someone said they got tired in their fight and it caused them to lose and the answer you give them is, "do pushups." That doesn't help.

So I was thinking this morning about what it was that really kick-started my mental training (which has definitely lapsed and that's why I'm in such a funk now; like someone who stopped running and then felt shit in the fight). I think the biggest thing, in my experience, is awareness. If you don't know what you're doing, you can't do anything about it. The way I taught myself to be more aware was a journal that I wrote in before training, midway through, and after. I'd write down how I was feeling and what I was thinking, so I could note patterns or see if what I was thinking affected the way I performed or how I felt afterward. What I learned is how negative I really was in my thoughts toward myself. Stuff I would never, ever think or say about anyone else. That was a wake-up call to me. Once I'd been writing for a while, I started trying to correct it (again, in writing) as I became aware of it. So the moment I caught the thought, I'd say, "okay, it's okay to think that but let it go," and say something that nullified that negative thought. I can't go around saying, "I'm awesome!" because I don't believe that or feel that or think that's helpful, but if I think, "I fucking suck today," I can internally add, "that's okay, I'm better on most days."

So after using the journal to become more aware, so that I could catch what I was doing and be more conscious of patterns in how I'm thinking, feeling, performing and responding to everything, THEN I started doing more of the exercises recommended in the Mental Training resources I have. The one that I think is foundational is making a two-column page. On one side you make a heading for Best Performances and the other column is Worst Performances. Then under each you remember your fights or sparring or training or whatever and write down what you were thinking and feeling before and during each of those. In the "Best Performances" you very well might have, "I don't know what I was thinking, maybe nothing? Just flowing." That's good, that's real. But you'll notice in "Worst Performances" you'll have repeat offenders, like focusing too much on your opponent or thinking too much about past failures. Once you can identify those things, then you can work on them. If you don't become aware first, if you can't identify this stuff, you can't address it.

So, that's my "step 1" advice. And I'm following it myself. I did all this in the morning after my run and before training this mornin

I have been following your advice for a few weeks now and it has really helped. I never really took much notice of what I was thinking before and during training until I started to write it down. It became apparent that I had already decided how a session would go long before I even got to the gym and when I did get there I would make instant assumptions on how I would preform. Something as stupid as the wrong music playing or  my trainer running late would start me thinking negative thoughts. Now I have become aware of this I find it a lot easier to catch myself on and change my thinking before entering the gym.

Thank you Sylvie.

[Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu]

I have been following your advice for a few weeks now and it has really helped. I never really took much notice of what I was thinking before and during training until I started to write it down. It became apparent that I had already decided how a session would go long before I even got to the gym and when I did get there I would make instant assumptions on how I would preform. Something as stupid as the wrong music playing or  my trainer running late would start me thinking negative thoughts. Now I have become aware of this I find it a lot easier to catch myself on and change my thinking before entering the gym.

Thank you Sylvie.

Ah! That's great to hear! Keep working on it though, as it's something that you can easily forget once you are feeling better. I've been writing down the things I'm working on in each session, 1) so I can remember and be mindful to do it in the session and 2) so that I can give myself credit for having attempted something even if the session feels like a wash. I got my ass kicked by my sparring partner the other day and felt like I was a mess but when I wrote down that I'd been working on spacing, I realized that I had indeed done that. So, it was part of the practice rather than just getting tagged all day by a 14 year old.