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Hello there! We are similar in weight/size and I have the same issue, often. I'm 5' 1", 125 lbs, 30years old... I've been training for over 2 years now, and some things that have helped me improve in this area are having a solid/sturdy footing (already mentioned), and resistance from my arms (not my wrist). I find when I hold through my arms instead of my wrists, there's more stability and strength to resist their punch/kick/knee/etc. The other thing I've been exploring is which pads I use. Some of the pads in my gym have thicker handles, some of the pads are so worn in the handle is no longer sturdy enough (enter wrist support problems), some of the pads don't have straps that get tight enough around my (smaller) arms, and some of the pads are just awkward for me to hold because my hands are smaller than average. So I started exploring the different pads we have, and have found a few "go to" sets that I feel fit my body a little better and have little features that just seem to work better for me than other pads.

i believe you aware some pad holder trainer make "rhythmic" noises. I found it somewhat relieving though when i did it and now become a nature of me~