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Update i just had another FUN muay thai class this am. I put all the above suggestions into place I got my thinking straight I thought to myself ‘his mood isnt my concern’ ‘Stay out of his head‘ ‘No over- thinking! No attempts to figure out what he’s thinking’ ( etc) my only job is to be an attentive student and try my best. Period! (I know I’ll still have bad Muay Thai classes occasionally Bc thats just life. But I’m going to seriously limit my overthinking ) thanks for letting me discuss it here and hearing me out. It helped.

Hi everyone, I'm very new to Muay Thai. I've been training it 2-3 times per week for a little over 4 months. I'm 42 years old, and I've never trained any martial art or fighting sport before; when I was younger I did things like tennis, running, and cycling and in recent years I've just been doing general fitness stuff. I'm training at a Muay Thai/Boxing/Jiu Jitsu gym that just opened at the beginning of the year. I like the owners of the gym a lot. I signed up for Muay Thai after meeting the coach with whom the gym contracted to teach at an open house the gym hosted. He has a very magnetic personality and his emphasis on the technical aspects of the sport really appealed to me. I probably would not have made it through the first couple of weeks if he hadn't been encouraging and tolerant of my slow pace of learning. I would get really anxious before every class, but that's gradually going away. Unfortunately, the coach recently and suddenly severed his relationship with the gym. I suspect that he may have just been spreading himself too thin, because he has a large family and another coaching gig in another city, but I don't know for sure. The whole thing feels really weird because the suddenness of the separation didn't seem to fit with what I perceived to be the coach's character. The gym is working on finding a replacement coach, and until then has had people of varying skill levels and backgrounds teaching classes. The classes haven't been very focused on the technical aspects of the sport and are more conditioning-oriented. For the moment I'm willing to wait it out until they come up with something more consistent. As I said above, I really like the owners and I think they are trying hard to figure out something to meet their students' needs, but it takes time. At this point I'm feeling that if I want to continue to learn Muay Thai, my motivation is going to have to come from myself and not from a coach, and that the coach-student relationship is one that is often fleeting. I have to keep telling myself that teachers will come and go and I'm just going to have to account for that in my learning process. I guess my question for the group is whether this sort of thing is common, or if anyone else has gone through something like this in their Muay Thai learning experience. If a coach that you like left, how did you deal with that? How did you keep going? If you learn from different people at the same time, how do you keep it all consistent for yourself?

Hi Brian. (Like you I started Muay Thai only 5 months ago and train 3x a week without exception) first- I don’t blame you. What a let down and disappointment. Of course Muay Thai is fun but the trainer can make it or break it. A ‘ work out & conditioning ‘ oriented class is just NOT the same as being taught by a charismatic ( you said magnetic personality) trainer who really knows his stuff and loves Muay Thai. I’m wondering if, while you wait to see who the gym hires permanently to replace him, you could research where else the original trainer teaches at as well as other Muay Thai gyms that are within in commuting distance. Is that possible or is it the only Muay Thai place in your area? it sounds like you are understanding of the gym owners situation but the fact is- you are currently NOT receiving what you signed up for and what you paid for. It’s an inferior product in a sense. ( it sounds like). I guess you need to decide how long you are willing to wait until there is a suitable and permanent replacement. ( 2 months? 6 months?) A similar thing happened to my son in tae kwon do he went consistently from around 2nd thru 4th grade- in total for about 2.5 years if my memory is correct. He ( we) were told he was 6 months away from a black belt. Then the trainer everyone loved was abruptly fired. Replacements came but the program wasn’t the same and no progress toward the black belt was ever given. Then the owner sold the business to a new guy. The new guy was great but did things differently and my son basically lost his ‘ ranking ’ ( I don’t know how to word it. He just was not close to earning a black belt anymore with the new owner) he lost interest. He Quit. We lost $. It was a very disappointing thing at the time. ( fast forward he’s big and now entering high school and discovered and loves Krav Maga so he does that. I’m happy for him though I wish he’d do Muay Thai with me ) do you by any chance have an interest in BJJ or boxing classes to tide you over until a Muay Thai teacher is hired? That’s just a thought. I’m just curious if you have other martial arts gyms that have Muay Thai near you? That might be the best option ... even if you ask for your membership to be put on hold until a new MT teacher is hired. Good luck. Don’t give up!

There are some other options for Muay Thai in my area. Some close, some not so close. I know the other place where the coach who left teaches, but it's too far out of the way; I think that may have had something to do with why he left my gym. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'd want to train with him again if I had the chance. Part of the reason I'm willing to give the gym some more time to figure things out is that the owners are kind of "family friend" acquaintances. My whole family actually signed up for Muay Thai as a show of support, but I don't think that everyone will be continuing with the current situation. You raise a good point about trying out another discipline while they sort out the Muay Thai situation. I've been thinking about doing that; maybe I should consider it more seriously. From what I understand the boxing and BJJ classes have been very consistent. Thanks for responding! It sounds like this situation isn't all that uncommon. Hopefully they'll sort things out.

lol, okay, that's interesting, thanks Tyler!

Being in the middle of the ring in Thai scoring is not in and of itself an advantage in Thai scoring. Any time Dieselnoi has talked to me about strategy, he's focused on getting the opponent into the ropes before doing much of anything at all. Referees certainly shape fights in all kinds of ways; but being at the center of the ring is not what I'd call an advantage, certainly not so much as when and how the referee breaks the clinch being a much bigger deal in shaping the fight.

This is going to be one of those things that I say and you go, "oh yeah, totally," and then go right back to thinking the way you already think. That's okay. What we think is a habit. But I'm going to say it and I want you to try to really understand it: you do not make your trainer feel any way at all. Not good. Not bad. He feels how he feels because of the thoughts he's having and, in a room full of students, he's not thinking only - or even primarily - about you. Don't try to please him. Don't try to frustrate him. Neither are your responsibility. A few years ago my trainer was in this terrible mood. He walked through the room I was in, didn't acknowledge me at all, got in his car and left the gym. I was the only one there. He didn't train me. I had a fucking emotional breakdown, thinking I'd done something wrong and he was mad at me. I was obsessed with it and when I finally grew the courage to confront him about it, I realized it wasn't about me AT ALL. He was going through something very upsetting and instead of being compassionate, I was obsessing over myself. That taught me a lot. It's a relief, honestly.