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Lucy

Feeling guilty about changing gym's

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I've trained at one gym for around 9 months, and although I can't explain it, I just feel like I'm being held back ( I'm in no way insinuating I would the best by now, or anything like that, not at all ) I just get a feeling that something isn't right and I'll be better off elsewhere ( I can't explain my gut feeling, I almost feel like I'm made to feel not good enough ) so after spending another 4 months feeling uneasy at this gym, I've finally made the decision to travel further afield and train elsewhere.

After only two lessons i feel more confident about my future, and like I've made the right decision, however, I feel guilty about leaving the first gym, ill still use this gym for cardio / strength as it's 2 minutes from my work, and the new place is 45 minutes away, I just won't be learning Muay Thai there. The old coach has several world champions, and is a great trainer, I just don't feel he is right for me, but I feel so guilty almost like I'm cheating on my old gym / trainer, sounds so stupid I know

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm doing what I think is best for me, but I feel like I've done something wrong

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Don't feel like this - it's your life, your training, your feelings... And you're still giving them custom by exercising there. And you're not going around saying, "Ooh, don't train at X, it's awful!". It was wasn't the right place for you. If they get funny with you then you have every right to complain about them.

Would you feel like this if you started using a different supermarket? Garage? Other service provider? Of course not! You wouldn't feel guilty or 'cheating' if you stopped using Sainsbury's for your main shop and went to Tescos instead, and only used Sainsbury's for the occasional pint of milk, would you? So don't feel bad about this! So this trainer, who is otherwise excellent, just isn't right for you. This happens. And you're sensible enough to have recognised this, and been fortunate enough to find another trainer who does suit you.

I'd say Lucky You, that you've got a choice of MT training within reasonable travel times!

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I've never thought of it that way, thank you, I actually feel a lot better now, and you're right I wouldn't feel guilty about supermarkets etc so why feel guilty about making the most of my training / life

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I also had similar thoughts when I first started looking for "more" in a gym/trainer. After a while, I got used to the feeling. Embrace the experience, learn from it and try to find your place at the new gym and with the new trainer.

Now, after trying yet another gym I already know who I want to train with as a trainer, so I just folllow him around to various gyms whenever I can XD

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There's no easy answer given the conplex nature of gym relationships. It's partly a business transaction (and you want to get the wervices you paid for), and it's partly a personal investment by both you and your team/coach to put work in amd hone skills.

 

If you feel guilty it may be worth a conversation with yor firsr coach - or maybe not. Coaches are quite used to seeing folks move on for a variety of reasons. I say do what feels best to you and serves you best.

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Hi Lucy,

 

You don't need to feel like you've done something wrong, although I completely understand why you do. Relationships with trainers can be far more complex than simple transactions, so I don't think it sounds stupid at all. I recently left my gym after being there for 4 years, and it was a really difficult decision to make. As Kevin said, these gut feelings that we have are important, and I wish I'd paid attention to mine sooner. I knew that I had to leave more than a year before I actually did, but kept putting it off because I felt guilty and didn't want to cause any upset, but during that time things kept getting worse and worse, and then finally it all ended rather badly. Now I feel like I wasted a lot of time there, which is unfortunate. 

It sounds like you did the right thing by going elsewhere. I'm glad you have a new place to train that you feel good about! :smile:  

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Thanks to everyone for their reply- just a quick update

I've just finished a week away, where on holiday I decided to go to a few classes at a random gym, and it really made me realise just how horrible and bitchy my old gym was, I've learnt so much in just a few days and now I know that the old gym was holding me back. I'm gutted it's taken me so long to realise but now I know I can happily move on and enjoy training elsewhere, leaving all the negative feelings in my old gym. If it doesn't feel right, don't ever be afraid to change x

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