Attitudes to ex-monks.

[Midlifecrisisguy]

What are general Thai lay peoples views on ex-monks? Is it seen as negative to have been a monk, but then having returned the ordination/vows. According to the Vinaya, it’s fine to return vows, and retake, up to five times in one lifetime, but social attitudes are not always based on scriptural or clerical authority. In Himalayan Buddhist society giving up monasticism is looked down on and can bring collective shame on a family, whilst at the same time Tibetan women see ex-monks as potentially good husbands who are less likely to be drunk and abusive.

 I’m talking about ex-monks as in those who have taken higher or “real” ordinations, not temple boys.

[Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu]

Almost all Thai men will ordain at one point in their lives. When a relative dies, when they are of a particular age, etc. This is a temporary ordination, lasting from a single day (for a funeral) to a few years. The longer you ordain, the more you are seen as having good qualities. But you're not looked down on for not staying in the Sangha, just revered if you do. If you are disrobed, obviously there's some stigma to that. But I've never come upon any kind of misgivings or side eyes or gossip about anyone leaving the monkhood after having spent time, even significant time, in it.

[AtomicFear]

On 7/14/2020 at 3:01 AM, Midlifecrisisguy said:

What are general Thai lay peoples views on ex-monks? Is it seen as negative to have been a monk, but then having returned the ordination/vows. According to the Vinaya, it’s fine to return vows, and retake, up to five times in one lifetime, but social attitudes are not always based on scriptural or clerical authority. In Himalayan Buddhist society giving up monasticism is looked down on and can bring collective shame on a family, whilst at the same time Tibetan women see ex-monks as potentially good husbands who are less likely to be drunk and abusive.

 I’m talking about ex-monks as in those who have taken higher or “real” ordinations, not temple boys.

I would respect the hell out of one if I met him or her. Huge character. 

[Gard]

In Thailand, it’s pretty normal for men to become monks for a while and then leave. I know a few people who’ve done it, and nobody really thinks less of them for it. It’s often part of a tradition or something they do for personal reasons, and once they leave, they just go back to regular life. People tend to respect that they spent time in the monkhood, even if it wasn’t forever. It’s not looked down on, like in other places. In fact, some see ex-monks as more grounded or disciplined, so it’s not a negative thing at all from what I’ve seen.