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I've been serious about muay thai for about a year now, been going inconsistently for a few years before that. I'm back in the gym after three or four months off due to finances. Now that I'm back, I'm feeling my motivation seeping away as I see new members get to do smokers and I have never gotten the chance to do one, though it's been brought up to the gym. I am overweight and my stamina needs work, I know this, so I started going early to run before class. I am making extra efforts to build up my stamina and work on my form. I'm starting to think my form is so horrible that my trainer doesn't want to embarrass himself by putting me in a smoker--or anything like a fight. He's always telling me to keep my hands up. I don't know how I look during sparring, sometimes he says good, but usually it's keep your hands up or look at the chest. He has told me I am getting better...but better does not mean decent. I started skipping sparring this week because the thought of sparring with really good people who are probably going super easy on me and not throwing at every opening they see, has me cringing. I've been sparring since August, 2015, but I don't see myself getting to do a smoker anytime soon. :ermm: It's frustrating. I don't want to go to the sparring class because I'm very self-conscious about how behind I am, but if I don't go, I'll be even more behind. I love sparring but I want to reach the next level and I don't think that's going to happen. Did anybody have to go through a ton of training, more than other students, before doing a smoker/interclub? How did you deal with the feelings of inadequacy? How did you motivate yourself to be aggressive about making progress? Has anyone seemed to hit a wall in their progress and, if so, how did you overcome that plateau? Thank you!