Jump to content

Fitness/Endorphine Junkie Attitude and How Your Family/Friends React to It


Recommended Posts

(I hope this is the right section)

 

Today a friend of mine accused me of being a fitness junkie because I train four times a week.

I suspect it was because I said I couldn't do something with her because I had training.

 

My question is: are we all endorphine junkies or people who don't train regularly perceive us as such because we have different priorities?

Is there an actual addiction to endorphine problem when you train almost every day?

 

What is the reaction of the people around you (family/friends) to your training schedule?

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I train 6 nights a week, and on the 7th day I have to do some relaxing like yoga, sauna and all social stuff goes around it.

My friends laughed a bit at me at first that I have to schedule a meeting with them in advance, but yeah it's like that. Some of them, who also have a tight schedule (not necesserly because of training) understand it and cooperate with me nicely :) Others...well we just see each other like once in a month or two..or less. I have close to no social life, apart from spontanious outings with the guys from my gym after training. I think now my friends or people around me in general just don't care about me anymore, coz I withdrew myself so much from any kind of social life with them.

My family cooperates with me nicely, if there is a family meeting and I have to leave the party early to go train, my parents understand it, my aunts and oncles don't, but I don't care what they think. :) My parents are actually helping me out a lot, letting me use their car to go to training, otherwise I had no way to maintain this crazy schedule (or I had to spend the money I'm saving for going to Thailand for buying a car ;)).

I don't think it's connected with being a junkie of some kind, it's like you said: priorities

Before I shifted my focus to Muay Thai I was obsessed with rock shows, I had no problem with going to Germany, the UK, Czech, Slovakia, just to see my favorite bands, sleeping on the railway station or not sleeping at all - just going to the show and back home (like...a 6 or 12 hour trip one way, who cares? ;)). I was at a show almost every 2-3 weeks and this was the meaning of my life.

Now, there are still bands I like to listen to, but if the show is on a training night I will try to make both work or let go the show. It's just that my priorities shifted from going to shows to training.

I'd rather say it's a state of focusing of yourself, a kind of meditation and not being a junkie!

But honestly speaking... I'd love it if my friends were more excited about my training, but it's so out of their worlds, they are only scared for me and don't understand why I'm doing it....Actually on Sunday my friend messaged me pleading me to stop it, coz she cought glipses of how Joanna Jędrzejczyk massacred Jessica Penne in their UFC title fight. :) :) I tried explaining to her why it happened, but nooo ;)

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

To me it's just different passions, you enjoy muay so you do it as much as you want. I think she just perceived it wrong like she felt it was more important than her, but it's more like; there's no pointing missing it if I don't have to, we can meet whenever but training is set times.

It's like saying to someone ohhh I can't come over because I'm watching Hollyoaks or I'm watching UFC. It's hard for her to understand your passion because she doesn't have it herself. Like I don't understand why people like golf, if someone said to me I can't meet because I'm going golfing, I'd be like who cares? It's golf, whereas that person likes golf and enjoys it so they will go and do it.

I guess at the end of the day it is priorities, because you could skip training and go meet her. It's weird, imagine saying to your trainer I'm going out with my friend I can't train, he'll think 'you can do that anytime' and when you tell your friend you want to train instead she thinks 'you can do that anytime'.

Lol, I always write posts more complicated than they are, but I think it's her view, she doesn't like muay/training she doesn't like it so she doesn't understand why you'd prioritise it over her, when she wouldn't do the same.  :smile:

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

(I hope this is the right section)

 

Today a friend of mine accused me of being a fitness junkie because I train four times a week.

I suspect it was because I said I couldn't do something with her because I had training.

 

My question is: are we all endorphine junkies or people who don't train regularly perceive us as such because we have different priorities?

Is there an actual addiction to endorphine problem when you train almost every day?

 

What is the reaction of the people around you (family/friends) to your training schedule?

I've definitely had this happen a lot in the past. I couldn't even tell you how many times people who I no longer associate with called me 'boring', 'anti-social' or 'addicted' in the past. It was an issue for me when I first started training and fighting, but over time, my social circle changed - partly because I'd started actively adjusting it and partly because a lot of my friends moved on. That's the thing about living abroad, a lot of people around you are on temporary lifestyles. Now, the only people I spend time with when I'm not working are my training partners or other people I've met through Muay Thai. I still have wonderful friends outside of Muay Thai, but they are now dotted around in other parts of the world, which, as much as I miss them, is great for me because it allows me to completely focus without any distraction or social pull.

Any friends of mine outside the gym fall into two categories: ones who don't understand what I'm doing but love me for it, support it and express a genuine interest in it; and ones who care very much about me but are completely clueless or uninterested about what I do and what it means for me, so just never talk about it (this category only consists of people I met before starting Muay Thai). I'm now in the UK on vacation and I spent today with some girls who fall into the second category. The subject of my training or fighting wasn't raised once, despite it being pretty much my entire life right now. It was slightly weird for me and I felt like a fish out of water. I'm not offended by it, I just don't think they would know what to say or ask. To be honest, I sometimes find it easier not to broach the subject with those people. It saves some awkward conversation. I actually wrote a bit about how finding Muay Thai meant that my lifestyle adjusted and my need for 'me time' increased in an old post of mine, 'Does Fighting Change You?'

As you guys have already said, it all comes down to priorities. The people who called me boring for wanting to spend my free time in the gym instead of partying didn't understand that I was passionately working towards goals that were important to me. When they told me 'let go and have some fun', they didn't realise that being in the gym was my idea of fun. We just had different wants and needs. This even goes for some people in my gym, who don't take training quite as seriously or see it as just a hobby. It's fine if we're not on the same page with it, as long as everyone does what makes them happy. 

You asked if it's possible to become addicted to training in an unhealthy way, and I do think that's true in extreme cases. I say this as someone who previously had problems with an eating disorder and used excessive exercise as a way to fuel that. However, this was before I'd found Muay Thai. If you're interested, you can read my story about that here - 'How Strength Training Saved me from an Eating Disorder'. 

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've recently watched a few movies that deal with the cliche of "friends with kids." Basically, as an adult, once you have kids your circle of friends becomes pretty limited to other people who have kids. People who don't have kids are like, "stop talking about your kid's potty training," and people with kids are like, "stop asking me what I've been up to; I've been fucking parenting." I got married quite young, before any of my friends did, and being "the married one" changed our abilities to relate to one another. People who have children aren't "obsessed" or "love-having-no-sleep junkies." They're called parents and that's what their world is defined by.  As athletes, our worlds are in some very key and definitive ways different from our non-athlete associates. So it's hard for us to relate on that time expenditure.

I have a hard time with my family on this one. They love me, a lot, and they all support me a great deal. I might consider one of my brothers my biggest fan, outside of my own husband (who absolutely takes the top tier on that title).  But my family doesn't "get it." I'm frustrated all the time by how it's seen as a "phase" or something I will turn into something else by opening a gym and becoming a teacher or something.  This isn't just something I did when I was young, like a "study abroad" or kiddie soccer clubs. This is my life, my passion, my transformation. That's hard for people to get because most people use physical challenges as hobbies or for fitness. Hobbies stop being "hobbies" when they are transformative.

Take for example Mark Hogancamp, who creates an entire world out of dolls and model buildings. There's a whole documentary and in it you learn that this is Hogancamp's therapy. It's not temporary, it's not "just for fun" and it's not a hobby. Dolls are stuff of hobbies, but only if it's practiced as a hobby.  Is Mark "obsessed?"  Surely.  Am I obsessed with Muay Thai. Yes. But that's not a bad thing.  If you're climbing Everest and you're not "obsessed" with getting to the top, you not fucking getting there. I can promise you that. It's not a casual endeavor.

And in the end, you should ever be made to feel bad about the thing that makes you feel good.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Take for example Mark Hogancamp, who creates an entire world out of dolls and model buildings. There's a whole documentary and in it you learn that this is Hogancamp's therapy. It's not temporary, it's not "just for fun" and it's not a hobby. Dolls are stuff of hobbies, but only if it's practiced as a hobby.  Is Mark "obsessed?"  Surely.  Am I obsessed with Muay Thai. Yes. But that's not a bad thing.  If you're climbing Everest and you're not "obsessed" with getting to the top, you not fucking getting there. I can promise you that. It's not a casual endeavor.

I just watched that documentary a couple of weeks ago! I thought it was really interesting. We all have our passions and there will always be people who think they're weird, and that's ok  :smile:

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's more or less exactly what everyone here has said already- I do some form of exercise almost every single day of the week, training or not and my social schedule is adjusted to that it takes place after I've done my morning workout routines. In the beginning I just said I was busy and never elaborated on what I was busy with since I would get funny looks from my work mates that I would cut out this extra time for my strength training. Now that I'm with my family again they've taken notice but also accepted it as my own routine and are open to making time for it.
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone for sharing. It's making me feel much better.

 

@Emma: I read your post, it's very interesting. The bit that touched me was the note on "not feeling guilty or stressed if you miss training". That I think is connected to "not feeling guilty if you eat a super pizza out with friends". For me it's strongly related to keep focusing on doing things because they make me happy, without relating them to my worth. It's so complicated!

 

@Micc: I feel you. I always had to schedule meetings with my friends. I work afternoons and evenings, it's always been complicated. But suddenly hearing no because of training (instead of work) must have been unexpected. I've always been over-available to people, and just recently learned to defend my space and my needs.

 

@Iwtgtt I think that's the point. I was hurt that she implied the "addiction" part.

 

@Sylvie I am already the friend without kids, and get all strange looks because my life is not revolving around family but around my own artistic and personal projects... In italy they are still considered not "real priorities". It sucks. But I agree that obsession is what allows you to create something new. Also combat training is actually being therapeutic for me, so yay!

 

@Steph I think I'll start doing that. Say I'm busy without saying why. ;)

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cannot quote everyone but love your thoughts.  My two cents are regarding the definition of addiction vs dependency.  I would say I definitely have a dependency on the endorphin response of training (and get a moody, angry withdrawal if I cannot).  Some people like to call this addiction, but I distinguish addiction from a more simple dependency.  I ask - does it make my world better, or worse?  If it makes my world worse yet despite that I do not stop, it is an addiction.  If it makes my world objectively better (not temporarily high), I may depend on its help, but its definitely not an addiction in the classical sense, more like a healthy habit.  Eating disorders and various body dysmorphia are pitfalls; I don't deny that.  But I am lucky in that that is not part of my experience.  Great thread thank you.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Most Recent Topics

  • Latest Comments

    • One of the most confused aspects of Western genuine interest in Thailand's Muay Thai is the invisibility of its social structure, upon which some of our fondest perceptions and values of it as a "traditional" and respect-driven art are founded. Because it takes passing out of tourist mode to see these things they remain opaque. (One can be in a tourist mode for a very long time in Thailand, enjoying the qualities of is culture as they are directed toward Westerners as part of its economy - an aspect of its centuries old culture of exchange and affinity for international trade and its peoples.). If one does not enter into substantive, stakeholder relations which usually involve fluently learning to speak the language (I have not, but my wife has), these things will remain hidden even to those that know Thailand well. It has been called, perhaps incorrectly, a "latent caste system". Thailand's is a patronage culture that is quiet strongly hierarchical - often in ways that are unseen to the foreigner in Muay Thai gyms - that carries with it vestigial forms of feudal-like relationships (the Sakdina system) that once involved very widespread slavery, indentured worker ethnicities, classes and networks of debt (both financial and social), much of those power relations now expressed in obligations. Westerners just do not - usually - see this web of shifting high vs low struggles, as we move within the commercial outward-facing layer that floats above it. In terms of Muay Thai, between these two layers - the inward-facing, rich, traditional patronage (though ethically problematic) historical layer AND the capitalist, commerce and exchange-driven, outward-facing layer - have developed fighter contract laws. It's safe to say that before these contract laws, I believe codified in the 1999 Boxing Act due to abuses, these legal powers would have been enforced by custom, its ethical norms and local political powers. There was social law before there was contract law. Aside from these larger societal hierarchies, there is also a history of Muay Thai fighters growing up in kaimuay camps that operate almost as orphanages (without the death of parents), or houses of care for youth into which young fighters are given over, very much like informal adoption. This can be seen in the light of both vestigial Thai social caste & its financial indenture (this is a good lecture on the history of cultures of indentured servitude, family as value & debt ), and the Thai custom of young boys entering a temple to become novice monks, granting spiritual merit to their parents. These camps can be understood as parallel families, with the heads of them seen as a father-like. Young fighters would be raised together, disciplined, given values (ideally, values reflected in Muay Thai itself), such that the larger hierarchies that organize the country are expressed more personally, in forms of obligation and debt placed upon both the raised fighter and also, importantly, the authorities in the gym. One has to be a good parent, a good benefactor, as well as a good son. Thai fighter contract law is meant to at bare bones reflect these deeper social obligations. It's enough to say that these are the social norms that govern Thailand's Muay Thai gyms, as they exist for Thais. And, these norms are difficult to map onto Western sensibilities as we might run into them. We come to Thailand...and to Thailand's gyms almost at the acme of Western freedom. Many come with the liberty of relative wealth, sometimes long term vacationers even with great wealth, entering a (semi) "traditional" culture with extraordinary autonomy. We often have choices outside of those found even in one's native country. Famously, older men find young, hot "pseudo-relationship" girlfriends well beyond their reach. Adults explore projects of masculinity, or self-development not available back home. For many the constrictures of the mores of their own cultures no longer seem to apply. When we go to this Thai gym or that, we are doing so out of an extreme sense of choice. We are variously versions of the "customer". We've learned by rote, "The customer is always right". When people come to Thailand to become a fighter, or an "authentic fighter", the longer they stay and the further they pass toward that (supposed) authenticity, they are entering into an invisible landscape of social attachments, submissions & debts. If you "really want to be 'treated like a Thai', this is a world of acute and quite rigid social hierarchies, one in which the freedom & liberties that may have motivated you are quite alien. What complicates this matter, is that this rigidity is the source of the traditional values which draws so many from around to the world to Thailand in the first place. If you were really "treated like a Thai", perhaps especially as a woman, you would probably find yourself quite disempowered, lacking in choice, and subject only to a hoped-for beneficence from those few you are obligated to and define your horizon of choice. Below is an excerpt from Lynne Miller's Fighting for Success, a book telling of her travails and lessons in owning the Sor. Sumalee Gym as a foreign woman. This passage is the most revealing story I've found about the consequences of these obligations, and their legal form, for the Thai fighter. While extreme in this case, the general form of obligations of what is going on here is omnipresent in Thai gyms...for Thais. It isn't just the contractual bounds, its the hierarchy, obligation, social debt, and family-like authorities upon which the contract law is founded. The story that she tells is of her own frustrations to resolve this matter in a way that seems quite equitable, fair to our sensibilities. Our Western idea of labor and its value. But, what is also occurring here is that, aside from claimed previous failures of care, there was a deep, face-losing breech of obligation when the fighter fled just before a big fight, and that there was no real reasonable financial "repair" for this loss of face. This is because beneath the commerce of fighting is still a very strong hierarchical social form, within which one's aura of authority is always being contested. This is social capital, as Bourdieu would say. It's a different economy. Thailand's Muay Thai is a form of social agonism, more than it is even an agonism of the ring. When you understand this, one might come to realize just how much of an anathema it is for middle class or lower-middle class Westerners to come from liberties and ideals of self-empowerment to Thailand to become "just like a Thai fighter". In some ways this would be like dreaming to become a janitor in a business. In some ways it is very much NOT like this as it can be imbued with traditional values...but in terms of social power and the ladder of authorities and how the work of training and fighting is construed, it is like this. This is something that is quite misunderstood. Even when Westerners, increasingly, become padmen in Thai gyms, imagining that they have achieved some kind of authenticity promotion of "coach", it is much more comparable to becoming a low-value (often free) worker, someone who pumps out rounds, not far from someone who sweeps the gym or works horse stables leading horse to pasture...in terms of social worth. When you come to a relatively "Thai" style gym as an adult novice aiming to perhaps become a fighter, you are doing this as a customer attempting to map onto a 10 year old Thai boy beginner who may very well become contractually owned by the gym, and socially obligated to its owner for life. These are very different, almost antithetical worlds. This is the fundamental tension between the beauties of Thai traditional Muay Thai culture, which carry very meaningful values, and its largely invisible, sometimes cruel and uncaring, social constriction. If you don't see the "ladder", and you only see "people", you aren't really seeing Thailand.        
    • He told me he was teaching at a gym in Chong Chom, Surin - which is right next to the Cambodian border.  Or has he decided to make use of the border crossing?  🤔
    • Here is a 6 minute audio wherein a I phrase the argument speaking in terms of Thailand's Muay Femeu and Spinoza's Ethics.    
  • The Latest From Open Topics Forum

    • Hi, this might be out of the normal topic, but I thought you all might be interested in a book-- Children of the Neon Bamboo-- that has a really cool Martial Arts instructor character who set up an early Muy Thai gym south of Miami in the 1980s. He's a really cool character who drives the plot, and there historically accurate allusions to 1980s martial arts culture. However, the main thrust is more about nostalgia and friendships.    Can we do links? Childrenoftheneonbamboo.com Children of the Neon Bamboo: B. Glynn Kimmey: 9798988054115: Amazon.com: Movies & TV      
    • Davince Resolve is a great place to start. 
    • I see that this thread is from three years ago, and I hope your journey with Muay Thai and mental health has evolved positively during this time. It's fascinating to revisit these discussions and reflect on how our understanding of such topics can grow. The connection between training and mental health is intricate, as you've pointed out. Finding the right balance between pushing yourself and self-care is a continuous learning process. If you've been exploring various avenues for managing mood-related issues over these years, you might want to revisit the topic of mental health resources. One such resource is The UK Medical Cannabis Card, which can provide insights into alternative treatments.
    • Phetjeeja fought Anissa Meksen for a ONE FC interim atomweight kickboxing title 12/22/2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu92S6-V5y0&ab_channel=ONEChampionship Fight starts at 45:08 Phetjeeja won on points. Not being able to clinch really handicapped her. I was afraid the ref was going to start deducting points for clinch fouls.   
    • Earlier this year I wrote a couple of sociology essays that dealt directly with Muay Thai, drawing on Sylvie's journalism and discussions on the podcast to do so. I thought I'd put them up here in case they were of any interest, rather than locking them away with the intention to perfectly rewrite them 'some day'. There's not really many novel insights of my own, rather it's more just pulling together existing literature with some of the von Duuglus-Ittu's work, which I think is criminally underutilised in academic discussions of MT. The first, 'Some meanings of muay' was written for an ideology/sosciology of knowledge paper, and is an overly long, somewhat grindy attempt to give a combined historical, institutional, and situated study of major cultural meanings of Muay Thai as a form of strength. The second paper, 'the fighter's heart' was written for a qualitative analysis course, and makes extensive use of interviews and podcast discussions to talk about some ways in which the gendered/sexed body is described/deployed within Muay Thai. There's plenty of issues with both, and they're not what I'd write today, and I'm learning to realise that's fine! some meanings of muay.docx The fighter's heart.docx
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      1.3k
    • Total Posts
      11k
×
×
  • Create New...